The Superhero's Glitch Read online

  “Keep moving forward,” I said, looking toward the north. “We’ll have to be more careful, I think, to avoid more Tree Golem encounters. That last one sneaked up on us and would have killed us if not for Switch’s spell.”

  Switch chuckled. “Let them attack us. We’ll burn them all to the ground one after the other and they won’t be able to stop us. They’re not so scary.”

  A massive shadow suddenly fell over us. All four of us looked up to see what was blocking the sun, but as soon as we did, my blood ran cold.

  It was a Tree Golem, identical in appearance to the one we just killed, except it was huge. It towered over all of the trees around us, its massive tentacle fingers floating above its head like snakes about to attack. A red energy aura radiated off of its body, giving it an almost demonic appearance, while massive leaves attached to its head shook in the breeze.

  Without thinking, I Scanned the creature:

  Name: Mother Tree Golem

  Level: 50

  Class: Boss

  Affinity: N/A

  Health: 500

  Weakness: Fire

  Mother Tree Golems are, as their name suggests, the mothers of the smaller Tree Golems. They reproduce by planting huge seeds into the ground, which, when fully grown, bloom into full-sized Tree Golems. Though they share many of the same weaknesses as their children, their hardened wood hides, aged from centuries of exposure to the elements, makes it harder to kill them even with fire. Mother Tree Golems are also incredibly protective of their children and have been known to ravage entire cities to avenge the death of their young.

  “Holy crud,” I said as I stopped Scanning it. “That’s the mommy of the Tree Golem we just killed! And it’s Level Fifty!”

  “Level Fifty?” Bait repeated in horror. “That’s way too high for this early! Why would your dad program such a high-level enemy so early in the game?”

  “Like I said, this is actually meant to be a torture simulation,” said Switch, shaking in her boots and clutching her staff for dear life. “Clearly, Bolt’s dad was a huge jerk who got off on scaring people for no good reason.”

  “I was going to mention that killing a Tree Golem might summon its mother, but I assumed that the mother was in some other part of the forest,” said Olga with a shrug. “Actually, now that I think about it, the odds of a Tree Golem’s death summoning its mother are very—”

  Olga was interrupted by the cracking of wood and the shaking leaves as the Mother Tree Golem held up one of its limbs, ready to bring it down on us. There was no way we could dodge or deflect that attack. If I had my super speed or flight powers, I might have been able to avoid it, but we didn’t have our superpowers in-game, so all I could do was stare helplessly up at the Mother Tree Golem as it prepared to take all four of us out in one hit. Bait held up his shield while Switch summoned a fireball in her hand and I drew my sword, but we all knew we didn’t stand a chance against this monster.

  Right before the Mother Tree Golem could crush us, I heard movements in the trees around us. At first, I thought it was the sound of forestland creatures fleeing the giant, but then something burst out of the treetops and flew up toward the Mother Tree Golem. The thing moved too fast for my eyes to follow, but I thought it had to be an eagle of some sort because I noticed feathers falling out of its plumage and wings that flapped furiously.

  The eagle or bird or whatever it was darted across the face of the Mother Tree Golem, leaving deep gashes wherever its talons struck. The Mother Tree Golem stepped back, but it was unable to hit the eagle that was slashing at its body like a lumberjack cutting down a tree. The sound of claws tearing into wood followed each blow, creating a strange, almost musical effect as the eagle attacked the Mother Tree Golem as hard as it could.

  “What is that?” said Bait, lowering his shield and watching the eagle tear at the Mother Tree Golem. “Olga, do you know what it is?”

  “I can’t say,” said Olga, her eyes wide as she watched the fight. “It could be many things, but—”

  “It’s not that impressive,” said Switch with a snort. “I bet it was just an eagle that got its nap interrupted, so it’s taking its frustration on the Mother Tree Golem. I doubt it’s even lowering its HP with those attacks.”

  I activated Scan and did a double take when I saw the Mother Tree Golem’s HP. “Actually, Switch, the Mother Tree Golem has already lost half of its health.”

  Everyone looked at me in astonishment and disbelief.

  “Did you say that its lost half its health already?” said Switch. She looked up at the eagle again, disbelief in her eyes. “No way. Even if that eagle is really high-leveled, it shouldn’t be able to do that much damage to the Mother Tree Golem all by itself.”

  “That’s what Scan says,” I said. “If you’re so skeptical, look for yourself.”

  “Bolt’s right,” said Bait, who must have gotten the Scan Ability from our last level up, because he seemed to be scanning an invisible screen in front of him. “And now it’s down to a third of its health and getting lower.”

  “Impossible,” said Switch. She squinted and then frowned. “Oh, wait. You’re right. I see it myself now.”

  “Still doesn’t make sense,” said Bait, shaking his head. “It must have some kind of powerful ability or maybe it knows where the Mother Tree Golem’s weak point is. Can anyone get a lock on the bird?”

  “Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s moving too fast for me to follow. We’ll have to wait until it slows down before we can—”

  The sound of wood cracking interrupted me and made us look up. The eagle had stopped attacking the Mother Tree Golem and now hovered dozens of feet away from it. Unfortunately, the eagle was still too far away for me to make out in any detail and Scan still couldn’t get a lock on it.

  But Scan still showed the Mother Tree Golem’s stats, which was how I learned that is HP was now a big, fat ugly 0. I double-checked the number, just to make sure my eyes were working properly, but its HP still read 0/500.

  Bait and Switch must have seen the same using their Scan, because Bait let out a low whistle while Switch muttered, “From five hundred to zero in less than three minutes … how is that even possible?”

  No one got a chance to answer Switch, however, because the Mother Tree Golem tipped over backward and crashed down into the forest like a demolished building.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The ground shook like an earthquake when the Mother Tree Golem collapsed. I fell on my behind, while Bait staggered and stumbled and Switch leaned onto her staff for support. Even Olga, who was flying, jumped when the Mother Tree Golem fell, her eyes still wide with surprise and shock. A huge flock of birds flew out of the nearby treetops, while I caught a glimpse of deer running in fear once the shaking stopped.

  A notification suddenly appeared in my vision:

  A boss monster (Mother Tree Golem) has been defeated! 1,000 EXP goes to the slayer of the boss, +100 Stat Points!

  “One thousand experience points?” said Switch. She immediately brought up her own character screen and scowled. “Hey, I don’t see one thousand experience points in my character screen. Or one hundred Stat Points, for that matter.”

  “That’s because you didn’t kill the Mother Tree Giant, Switch,” said Bait. He looked up at the sky. “That eagle did, so it probably got all the goodies.”

  “No fair,” said Switch, shaking her head. “We fought it, too, didn’t we?”

  “Depends,” I said as I slowly rose to my feet, dusting off my pants, “does grimly accepting your demise count as ‘fighting’?”

  “No, it does not,” said Olga, apparently missing my sarcasm. “Players who kill boss monsters always reap the rewards of the quest. If you three had been part of the eagle’s party, then you would have earned some EXP, but because the eagle was on his own, he most likely got all of it, unless he happens to have a party of his own that we are unaware of.”

  “You should have mentioned that before that eagle guy killed the
boss,” said Switch. “If I had known that we would get that much experience—”

  “Wouldn’t have made a difference,” said Bait with a shrug. “We’re all Level Three, while that thing was Level Fifty. Even if you used your fire spell, you wouldn’t have even been able to hurt it. Just be grateful that thing didn’t kill us and kick us out of the game.”

  Switch scowled, but said nothing, probably because she couldn’t argue with Bait’s logic and she knew it. I also happened to agree with Bait, though at the same time, it was hard not to think about what would have happened if we had managed to kill it, rather than rely on a stranger to do it for us. We definitely would have jumped a few Levels, at least.

  Speaking of stranger, I looked up into the sky but did not see the eagle anywhere. “Hey, where did that guy go? The guy who killed the Mother Tree Golem?”

  “Yeah, where is that jerk anyway?” said Switch, whipping her head back and forth as she looked for him. “If we kill him, would we get the experience and Stat Points he got?”

  “If you kill me,” said a voice above us, “which you clearly cannot, given how weak you four are.”

  The voice came from the trees above us, making us all look up to see a figure crouching low on one of the top branches of the trees. It was a humanoid, eagle-like figure, with a pure white feathered head, while the rest of his body was covered in black feathers. Long, sharp claws dug deeply into the thick branch upon which he crouched, while his hands—which also ended in long, dagger-like claws—rested on his knees. His eyes gleamed with intelligence, while his beak—which had a noticeable crack running along the side—was inclined toward us.

  I immediately Scanned him and got these results:

  Name: Unknown

  Level: 100

  Class: Birdman

  Affinity: Good

  Health: 1,000

  Weakness: Ice, Electricity

  A member of the mythical Birdman Tribe, he has an air of mystery about him that makes you hesitant to trust him. Despite that, he is clearly powerful and should be approached with appropriate caution.

  “Scanning me?” said the Birdman with a sardonic tone. “I can tell, based on the blank expressions all three of you younglings wear. Or maybe you’re just that dumb.”

  “Younglings?” Switch repeated indignantly. “We’re not that young. Bait and I are only seventeen, going on eighteen, and Bolt is legally an adult, so—”

  “My people live for centuries,” the Birdman responded. “So, in my eyes, you three are practically infants, which is why I stepped in to save you. But if you keep acting so ungratefully, I might just have to teach you a lesson in respect for your elders.”

  Switch opened her mouth, no doubt to start cursing the Birdman out, but Bait put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. “Switch, shut up. Last thing we need is to have a Level One Hundred character decide to kill us.”

  “Bait’s right,” I said. “Better approach this guy with diplomacy, at least until we figure out what his game is. So let me do the talking while you two stand at the ready in case he turns out to be an enemy.”

  The Birdman laughed, which sounded like a bird chirping. “’If he turns out to be an enemy’? If I decide to be your enemy, there’s not a thing you outworlders could do to stop me from doing what I just did to that Mother Tree Golem.”

  “Outworlders?” Switch repeated. “What does that mean?”

  “’Outworlder’ is the term NPCs use to describe player characters like you,” Olga whispered in a low enough voice that only we could hear her. “It’s not an insult, although some NPCs treat Outworlders with suspicion and prejudice.”

  I nodded at Olga’s explanation and looked back up at the Birdman. “State your name and business.”

  “You must be the leader,” said the Birdman. “Very well. My name is Aeolus. I am a member of the Birdman Tribe, whose territory extends from the Tall Mountains in the north to the Silent Forest in the south. I was out hunting for food when I saw that Mother Tree Golem about to turn you three into pancakes, so I decided to take it out.”

  “Why?” I said. “We don’t know you.”

  “Because Birdmen and Tree Golems are mortal enemies,” Aeolus replied. “Plus, I have a strong sense of fair play. It didn’t seem fair to me that the Mother would pick a fight with three weak outworlders. Tree Golems are bullies and always pick weak targets to attack, which is what makes them so despicable in the eyes of my people.”

  “Yet you threatened to kill us if we kept disrespecting you,” said Switch, her eyes narrowed.

  Aeolus shrugged. “I believe in fair play, but I also believe in putting outworlders in their place. If a mouse harasses a lion, it shouldn’t be surprised when it gets eaten.”

  As Aeolus said that, his tongue ran along the edges of his beak. I had no idea what he meant by that, but now I was starting to wonder if this Birdman Tribe he spoke of engaged in cannibalism. Then again, considering how Birdmen were clearly not human, perhaps it wouldn’t count as cannibalism if he ate us.

  Pushing such thoughts out of my mind for now, I said, “Point taken. But I think you saved us for another reason, not just because you hate Tree Golems.”

  “Ah, you’re smarter than the one with the big mouth there,” said Aeolus with a chuckle. “Yeah, I see why you’re the leader of your little party. You’re right. As a Birdman, I typically don’t give a damn about outworlders like you and don’t care if you get killed because of your own stupidity, but …”

  “But what?” I said.

  Aeolus began picking at his claws. “You are the first outworlders to be seen in Keoria in ages. As much as I dislike your kind, I will admit that your kind also has a track record of accomplishing things and completing tasks that most Keorians think are impossible.”

  I couldn’t help but crack a grin. “Are you saying that you need our help?”

  “No,” said Aeolus. He ruffled his feathers. “Not in so many words, anyway. You see, the Birdman Tribe has recently run into a little issue—not impossible to solve, but difficult—that we can’t deal with on our own, yet is right up the ally of outworlders like you.”

  Based on Aeolus’ words and behavior, I knew that this ‘little issue’ was anything but. Curious to know what kind of problem that a Level 100 character like him couldn’t deal with on his own, however, I said, “What’s the problem?”

  Aeolus looked down at us again, this time with far more serious eyes. “The problem, such as it is, is the impending extinction of the entire Birdman race.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “The Birdmen are going extinct?” said Bait. He looked up at Aeolus with puzzled eyes. “Why?”

  Aeolus shifted uncomfortably on the branch. Despite having just slain a boss monster, he looked extremely uncomfortable discussing what must have been a very serious topic for him. “Do you know the history of the Birdman Tribe?”

  We shook our heads collectively and I said, “No, we don’t.”

  “I don’t have time to go into great detail about it,” said Aeolus, waving his hand like he was brushing off a fly buzzing in his ears. “To sum it up, the Birdman were once ordinary humans who used magic to fuse ourselves with the Great Eagles of the Tall Mountains. This resulted in the creation of the Birdman Tribe, a race of beings who are equally bird and equally human. We have human intelligence and creativity with the killer instincts, strength, and speed of the Great Eagles, which makes for a nearly unstoppable combination that has resulted in the Birdmen becoming one of the most feared races in all of Keoria.”

  “That’s kind of cool,” said Bait. “So why are you guys dying out?”

  “I’m getting to it,” Aeolus replied. “Anyway, the Birdman Tribe has ruled over this area for thousands of years. Many enemies from all different races and parts of the world have sought to challenge us for our territory, but we defeated each and every one, and often very easily. Our long lifespans, highly advanced technology, and prosperous civilization have made us the envy of the world
.”

  I frowned. It sure seemed to me like Aeolus was bragging about his own people, but I did not say that because, again, Aeolus could kill all of us without even thinking about it. I found it useful in my life to let really powerful people talk because then they weren’t thinking about what they wanted to do to you.

  “Over the last one hundred years, however, our proud people have seen something of a decline,” Aeolus continued. His eyes shifted down to his clawed feet. “Famine and drought have been bad in recent years, as well as the immigration of hostile human tribes who see us as animals to hunt. The death of our last king, Claw, has also created a lot of uncertainty in our lives, even with his son succeeding him. Yet these issues are all manageable and were managed by our ancestors in centuries past, often bringing the Tribe to new heights in the process.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “If you can handle all of those problems on your own, I don’t see why you need us. Or how any of this is causing the extinction of your people, for that matter.”

  Aeolus sighed and looked at us. “The real problem is our children. They are going missing and we don’t know where they are.”

  “What?” said Switch. “Your children are going missing?”

  “Yes,” said Aeolus, nodding, “including my own son, Damano. Over the last few weeks, our eggs have been stolen from our nests by thieves whose identities we don’t know. We’ve searched all over the Tall Mountains—even venturing into the territory owned by hostile human tribes on the borders—but have had no luck in recovering even one egg just yet.”

  “That’s bad, but can’t your women just lay more eggs, if that’s an issue?” I said. “Not trying to make light of your problem, but that seems like a simple solution to me.”

  “Birdwomen aren’t as fertile as human woman,” said Aeolus. “Often, they can only have two or three eggs at a time. If a Birdwoman loses her eggs, then that is it for her. You see, Birdmen and Birdwomen live hundreds of years, so having few children usually isn’t a problem for us, but we’re losing far more eggs than we can afford to, and if this pace keeps up, there won’t be any more children to replenish our numbers.”